Been on a blogging hiatus in recent weeks. I think blogging can be a great “personal journal” for me, but I have to be willing for others to read it! I love the openness of some dear friends and strangers whose blogs are transparent, raw, and down-right gutsy.
I came across this song today and was completely struck by the lyrics:
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Stained Glass Masquerade
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
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And this is where I am today. Tucking it all away, like everything’s okay. Putting walls around my weakness. Allowing my insecurities and fears to absolutely paralyze my life.
It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone, but I shouldn’t be content to remain this way. I’m quite an opinionated person who doesn’t hesitate to tell friends what they should/shouldn’t be doing with their lives — especially the ones I care about most. All the while, I’m hiding behind a persona of a girl who has everything together.
And I’m realizing that this whole time I’ve only been fooling myself.
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